A friend of mine has send me this video of a guy named Andrew Marlowe talking about how much he loves women and women on their periods. Of course, I would rather be listening to The Last Shadow Puppets, but I feel that it is my mission as a woman to address what this guy has said about periods.
So we have this dude in the middle of a forest who gets a request to talk about women’s menstrual cycle and he says he’s super passionate about it but doesn’t know exactly what’s going on when a woman is on her period, so let’s start there. For each gross thing, I’ll reward you with a good song.
The menstrual cycle is what prepares a woman’s body for pregnancy and during which her body suffers many changes to be able to accommodate a child inside of her. During this time the levels of estrogen start to rise which makes the womb thicker so it can nourish the embryo.
During this time the female body “creates” an egg that will travel through the female reproductive system. When this quest happens, the hormone levels rise to help the preparations for the future baby.
Of course, if there is no sperm during this time there is no baby and then the period helps.
But before that here’s some help to understand the cycle.
A woman’s period is, in a resume, the shedding of the extra wall in the womb. The extra uterine lining sheds and leaves a woman’s body in the form of blood. Each woman’s period is different and a woman’s period can change from month to month.
There are a lot of problems associated with a woman’s period, but usually, it becomes more regular with age and becomes more irregular when nearing the menopause.
Now that we have been somewhat educated about a woman’s period (take in consideration that I’ve made things smaller for the sake of the blog post but you can read it all online, there are a lot of sites that explain this and problems associated with it), let’s take a look at what this guy has to say about periods and what he thinks about it.
I feel that society has prepatuated that a woman’s mestrual cycle is somewhat gross or somehow unnatural or somewhat right that they have their mestrual cycles. That’s completely the opposite.
I respect that your opinion, periods are not gross, but as someone who has heavy bleedings I can tell you that it is very gross. There is nothing mystical or spiritual about walking up in the morning with your clothes dirty with blood because your period is so heavy and irregular. Your legs get sticky, blood gets dry, your clothes get ruined and it smells like iron. It’s not a magical experience of enlightenment, your body giving birth to a river of blood.
It is a very gross experience and I feel dirty when I’m on my period. I might not be dirty at all, but I feel like I’m dirty. I always feel like there is blood coming out of me and that doesn’t make me feel any better about it.
But, yes this is a natural process that happens to pretty much all women. There are always exceptions and irregularities regarding this, but, for the most part, I don’t think society sees this as an unnatural process. Maybe because I live in Europe and we study this in Science class I lack this feeling that it is unnatural. Young boys do think it’s gross, but that part of growing up, eventually, the grow out of this feeling and many accept it as something natural that they will have to deal with the women in their life.
Now, the right part is the that irks me the most. The reason is very simple and easy to understand. Having your menstrual cycle and your period is very natural, it’s part of your bodily functions, and not having it or having it irregularity is not. Those are usually related to health issues, in the same way excessive bleeding is, so, in a way, having your period is right.
However, I don’t know if he means that it’s right or if it’s a right and I’m left unsure of how to respond to that particular part, but periods are a right thing to have because it means that you’re a healthy woman.
For a lack of better wording a woman is losing her reproductive abilities and that’s a grieving process.
I don’t know where you got that from, but having your menstrual cycle means you have the ability to reproduce and having your period means you didn’t use it, so your body rejects the changes it has made so that a woman can have a baby through the period. This is not a grieving process, at least not to me, the only thing I grief is the fact that I get is so much pain I can barely stay awake in certain months. I’m not grieving the fact that I didn’t reproduce or lost my ability to reproduce in that month (if that’s what you mean by losing her ability to reproduce) because I choose not to have sex in that month and I choose not to get pregnant in that month. It was my choice and the only reason women have so many emotional changes throughout their menstrual cycle is because of the hormones rising and lowering and go crazy and, for some like myself, there is the pain affecting your mood and how much you want to live your normal life.
It’s not grieving, it’s your hormones.
(…) but they’re not particually making women feel better during their period.
And they don’t have to. They’re selling hygiene products to us and most make it look like something awesome and great when it’s not. For me, it’s a fucking pain the back in a quite literal way. It’s not an add or society that have to make me feel better during my period, it’s me. Only I can make myself better by taking a pill, having a walk, masturbating or something that makes me feel better. It’s not society that has to push me to make me feel better because I generally don’t feel better during my period and I don’t feel like feeling good because I’m in pain, I’m grumpy, I get angry. It’s not even society’s fault, in my own body’s fault.
The people around me own me nothing, I’m perfectly aware that it’s me that has to feel better, I and only I have that sort of power. Not society or pad ads.
(…) unless she has some type of condition or is on birth control.
There are many types of birth control. If you visit a side like Planned Parenthood they will have a list of the types of birth control that are used.
The problem with what Andrew is said is the misconception about it because not all birth controls stop your period and have an effect on your hormones. Things abstinence, condoms, female condom, spermicide or withdrawal don’t mess with a woman’s hormones. But I’ll give you this, the hormonal methods are far more effective, however not all stop the menstrual cycle. Take for example the birth control pill. You take for most of the month and then stop it from having your period. It’s how it works. You don’t stop having your menstrual cycle you simply control it.
Waiting to have a control or even a vasectomy doesn’t take away anyone’s feminity or make them less of a woman. They’re still women with periods or not. A lot of these things are done or medical or economical reasons and we’re nobody to judge what each woman in regardless of their body. We can comment and have opinions on it, but we shouldn’t judge without know the full story.
From my previous relationship I remember how passionate our love making was.
Good for you and her. Sadly I’m not so lucky. I’m in so much pain it becomes painful for me to touch myself left alone to have a penis shoved up my vagina.
That’s why you can generalize this, not every period is like the previous one not all women live it or see it this way. To me, it’s not spiritual or a ritual, it’s this messy week that makes me feel like shit, look like shit and act like shit. I can’t even eat right and I just want to sleep in a pool while someone pats my head. I cannot compute how someone can think that this is a spiritual ritual because it’s very far from that. It’s my body working, simple as that and it shouldn’t be seen as more than that.
(…) I’ll constantly study her (..)
That is creepy. The last thing I want when I’m on my period is to feel like the test subject of some dude who decides that would be fun to observe my pain. That would make me feel worse about myself and my period. I would be a lab rat to the eyes of someone I should trust. It’s a horrible feeling and I’m only imagining it, not feeling it at all.
Even if it’s for a good cause saying it like that makes it so much worse. You don’t study people, you observe and learn. That’s study in a way, but you don’t way it that way because of the implications. It may sound very nice in your head, but you must think of how it sounds like to others.
But I was so in love with this woman that I actually kept I kept one of the blood soild period pads like, I kept it for a year and a half after we dated.
If you want to see to believe, click here.
In another video, the guy mentioned that have told him he might end up or is a serial killer and this particular line is the reason why. Nobody in their right mind leaves a rotting piece of cloth in their house because it belongs to loved one one, let alone one with blood. It’s not only disgusting, it’s dangerous to your health.
Now I understand that if someone died to keep clothes and such, BUT MENSTRUAL PAD? Why dude? Why that of all the things you can keep? This sounds like the start of hentai where the guy is in love with this girl but has a menstrual fetish. And if that doesn’t exist, someone will make it.
He also the response to a (possibly) British Youtuber called bearing where he says he’s not ashamed of being attracted to women on their period which is okay and he’s not ashamed of keeping his girlfriend menstrual pad. Okay. Why. Why keep it in the first place? I don’t keep my boyfriend’s dirty underwear because he lives on the other side of Europe. It makes no sense. It’s creepy and that’s probably why people comment on your videos saying you sound like a serial killer. You have no shame to pry on other person’s privacy and then say online to the world and you keep her menstrual pad.
A lot of the men and women that watch bearing weren’t raised in a very feminist enviorment.
That has nothing to do wit sounding like a creep. Being raised by a feminist family doesn’t excuse that the pad situation is creepy and violates your ex’s privacy. Maybe you were raised in a way that you don’t know what privacy is, I’m making guesses here as much as he is about bearing’s watchers, but that’s no excuse for keeping someone’s gargabe.
It’s not even feeling grossed out by a woman’s period, it’s being grossed out at the fact that someone kept a dirty pad knowing how they look and how the smell. Menstruation blood smells horrible, worse than regular blood, and often the pads have little pieces of the extra wall that a woman’s body creates for the baby. It’s a disgusting thing to look at and I’m not saying this because I’m digusted at periods, if I was I would probably been talking about this, it’s the implications, the smell, the look of it. It’s horrible. It’s like keeping my boyfriend’s use condom because I love him so much.
But, Andrew, you know why most couples don’t make love during their periods?
Because they don’t want mini-humans in their family just yet not because they’re grossed out or because they have a wall between each other.
Also, I hate women because I think keeping a bloody pad is disgusting. Oh well, each to their own, I guess, but there are things you just don’t say online, man. There are things you keep to yourself and to nobody else.
I’m not afraid of having relations with a woman on her period and a lot of real men will tell you the same.
But what is a real man? This sort of real man or real woman arguments annoys me because they’re not arguments they’re self-validation and pats in back that makes us feel better about our ideologies and actions. Men and women are all real, no matter if they like sex when a woman’s vagina cries blood or not.
However when people keep mementos from past relationships they keep, usually, gifts or forget pieces of clothings, not pads. They were usually things given to the person, not stolen from the garbage. That’s why it’s creepy. It’s not about shame, it’s about invading someone’s privacy. And no it wouldn’t be any less creepy if you said you kept any of those things like the bra or the panties, all of them are creepy because they’re very personal, not very hygenic and invades someone’s privacy.
Even if it’s just how you roll it doesn’t makes in any less bad, it’s like your coming into someone’s private space, invading it and keeping a part about. It’s not shame, I just don’t want anyone to mess with my trash. It’s my pad. It’s dirty and filled with bateria.
And no, I don’t need my girlfriend’s pad to remember her. I have things she gave me, things she told me, memories that are far more important to me (and to a lot of people) than a simple pad that I’ll end up having to throw way.
One last note before I go, I’ll let you know that the songs were an excuse to share good music and I’m pretty sure most people don’t even needs them because periods are natural and everyone has to deal with them.